I have a new alarm clock: leg cramps.
This is one of the most excruciating pains humans can experience, and the only course of action is to get up quickly, and to then stand up.
The pain gradually ebbs away, as my toes slowly un-splay, leaving a ghost-like ache deep within the calf muscle.
It's because I have got fatter after a summer of cooking for the youngun. All those soups, dinners and desserts. Oh, and also those delicious croissants with jam and cream for breakfast.
It's because I've got a cold and haven't had any exercise recently.
It's because I tend to sit crossed-legged on my computer chair.
Still all is not lost. I can take action. I’ve already had an aspirin, and I can go for a walk this morning, and I can start to lose my summer weight bit by bit.
What worries me though, is thirty years down the line when I am stuffed in a nursing home prior to being processed into soylent green.
Will my need for a one-legged morning dance be understood? Will I still be able to get up? Or will the pain from the cramps go on and on, as I lie in a bed unable to rise?
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