Dangerous Game

 

So I am on tortoise duty.

And the tortoise knowing his owner is away is patrolling his patch like a Rottweiler.

He spotted me at the bottom of his garden trying to cut down the nettles, the over tall docks and the lonicera nitida… the latter being a knitted and knotted bush which has outgrown both its welcome and space.

The tortoise wasn’t at all happy upon seeing me trespassing at the bottom of his garden.

He charged.

There is nothing quite like a charging tortoise.

Hurriedly I slashed at the nettles.

The tortoise stretched its long scaly neck into the wind.

I then cut down the docks, as the tortoise lifted one terrifyingly clawed foot.

Every time I glanced at him he froze. It was as if we were playing a game of ‘What’s the Time Mr Wolf”, though he seemed confused as to who exactly was playing the part of the wolf.

Then as tortoise revved himself up into his heart stopping top speed, I sawed through the nitida’s complicated cathedral columns.

The tortoise was closing the gap.

I wouldn’t have long to complete this task if the steely look in his eye was anything to go by.

Frantically, I hacked and sawed dragging the tangled pieces to a heap in readiness for the bonfire.

It took an age. And it was all the more terrifying as the tortoise was in such a defensive aggressive mode.

I nearly didn’t make it. The tortoise really had travelled at least an inch in the hour while I was there.

Phew! Lucky escape!

 

.