Shame on you Rotherham

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I don’t often return home to Rotherham and I rarely go into the heart of the town, so I was looking forward to seeing Bailey House where the registry office wedding of my cousin was to take place.

Some madness must have befuddled the thinking of the Rotherham town planners. They must have thought that people would love to marry in a building that lies in the middle of a dual carriage way, with cars and filthy lorries racing by.

They no doubt realised that guests, often strangers to the town, would be thrilled by the challenge of attempting to reach this building. And so to make the journey even more exciting these planners added one way systems, fly-overs, a bus station and roundabouts.

They realised that guests in their flimsy wedding apparel and newly bought heeled shoes would like nothing better than to park in the nearby multi-story car-park and then face a long walk to the building.

What joy these new visitors to the town would experience, they thought, as they negotiated the pedestrian exit of the car-park, the dingy steps, the walk of death past the bus station, the bridge over the filthy River Don, and the underpass below the dual carriageway, which acts as a wind tunnel, in order to reach Bailey House.

Then why not, they thought, why not close and lock the main doors to the building so that visitors don’t get a grand and comfortable entrance but instead have to go around to a side entrance where in a dismal corner the previous bride and groom are battling with the wind and rain to have their photos taken. And why not have the guests for the next wedding squeeze through these shivering guests, they thought.

Worse than all of this though was the actual room set aside for the wedding service.

Some bright spark in Rotherham Planning must have thought that a room devoid of windows and natural light is ideal for a wedding. A room devoid of any decorative features would have a certain je ne sais quoi they must have mused. A room as bland and as functional as a cardboard box they thought would serve the citizens of Rotherham well. Let’s light it with artificial lights that will light the bride with ugly yellow hues and make the guests look purple and garish they must have thought, for that is what happened.

And why not design the room so that the poor bride can only have two bars of her entrance music played before she is facing the registrar, after taking only five steps into the room.

And why not add extra pressure… the service has to be short because of the next couple’s imminent arrival…conveyer belt weddings!

Outside with the sound of racing traffic the photographer takes his pictures as the wind blows dust into the bride’s hair. The next bride struggles to push through the watching guests and everyone shivers.

Is it too much to ask for a beautiful carefully thought out purpose built place to be built and designed for the good people of Rotherham to be married in; something wonderful with delicate glass windows, subtle lighting and furnishings to awe and delight the eye? A building that could anticipate England’s intemperate climate and offer shelter should the wind decide to howl and the rain decide to pour when it is time for photographs to be taken? A place where the bride and groom can step into a rose garden instead of a road?

Shame on you Rotherham!

What chance have newly married couples got in Rotherham when their start in married live is so shabby and grubby? Don’t they deserve just one day when they can forget Rotherham’s bleakness and drabness? Just one day when they step into something special and magical?

And as for these insane planners, where do they marry? I bet not one of them ever chooses Bailey House!


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