Naming the Bear

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‘My bear is called “Anger”.’ the manic sales assistant stated flatly in the teddy bear shop.

We eyed her warily, and gingerly edged past her to the teddy bear section. We were buying a teddy bear for my cousin’s new baby that was expected sometime in the New Year. The teddy bear shop allows you to make and name your own bear.


The teenager set to work choosing the teddy and then getting it stuffed at the nearby machine. He even sat on the computer and filled in its ‘birth certificate’.

‘What have you called it?’ The scary shop assistant asked breathing down our necks. ‘Cuddles!’ she sneered in disgust. ‘Well that’s original.’

We hurriedly left carrying the teddy bear in a box.

At home the teenager eased Cuddles out of the box and cuddled him. ‘He’s so sweet.’ the teenager said. ‘Can I keep him?’ He was looking at me with irresistible big puppy dog eyes.

I had to agree.

The bear ousted other creatures that had once been close to his heart: a stuffed Nessi, an elongated Border collie dog draft excluder, and a kettle.

As a youngun the teenager had preferred to share his bed with electrical appliances rather than teddy bears.

There was one memorable night when a friend had babysat for me.

‘Oh he’s fine. He’s fast asleep.’ she’d said on my return.

I went upstairs to check on him.

He was indeed fast asleep, though his bed looked like a scrap heap.

First, I had to fold away the umbrella that hid him completely. Then I had to begin extracting a variety of plugs, leads and kettles that he was entwined around. Finally, I had to ease his arms away from the vacuum cleaner that he was lovingly hugging.

So I was pleased that the teenager was finally going through the teddy bear stage.

‘Cuddles’ is a great name for a bear.

So seeing Sudanese men baying for blood and demanding that a woman be killed for allowing the children in her class to call a teddy bear ‘Mohammed’ is something I find sickening and disturbing.


A bear is a thing of comfort and something to cling to in the darkest hours; rather like religious beliefs. The children chose the name that they liked the best. The name that was special to them and that signified something safe to them. No doubt if they had all made their own individual teddy bears in the teddy bear shop most of them would have left clutching a teddy bear called Mohammed.


It makes me wonder what these edgy protestors in the Sudanese streets waving their knives in the air call their teddy bears when they climb into their beds at night after saying their prayers.

Perhaps ‘Anger’ is top of their list of names too.